Valentines Day Passed ...

Valentines Day is over and surprisingly I wasn't depressed.  I just listened to love music all day and i made me happy for all the people in love and i know some day I will feel the joy that i  see my friends have and hear in songs and see in movies .... someday :-) ... I'm still listening to love music all day today too <3 <3 <3 Love is so amazing!!!
-Gel

I see sunshine on a cloudy day ...

Yea i was in a black hole in my mind for a couple days... i hate when that happens ... i think it’s because stupid valentine’s day is coming and stupid love movies ... I got all depressed because i see and hear about all these people so happy and in love and bla bla bla and here I am another year alone without someone ... I feel like i have all this love to give and no one to give it too ... I feel invisible to the male race ... and it doesn’t matter how many women , family members or my gay friends call me beautiful ... it only really makes you feel beautiful when someone who is attractive and strait and amazing calls you beautiful ... and there are no prospects in site ... and then my thoughts go deeper into the dark hole where i realize none has ever really wanted me and it does get sad to think about ... and all at the same time I’m terrified of Love yet so obsessed with it at the same time ugh I’m fricken crazy lol .... but then after i cry myself to sleep for a couple nights I talk myself into being happy again by telling myself I’m too busy to worry about these thing and that i need to focus on my fitness and getting out of school .... So now I’m over it ... and happy again :-) I don’t need to be wanted to be happy as long as i like myself and where I’m going so far ... I see some sunshine :-)